Jay almost 10 years later - Never Give Up!

When I first met Jay, it was not a good experience. He was in the 6th grade and walking on the "wrong" side of the hall in a middle school that prided itself on tight, controlled student movement. I happened to be coming down the hall and said to him, "Young man, you're supposed to be on the right hand side of the hall." He looked behind himself and all around the hall as if it was impossible for my comments to be directed at him. I then clarified that I was speaking to him and that he needed to move, at which point he looked at me with great defiance and began to mumble under his breath. Because I did not know him, I did not go full "authoritarian" on him, but I did move closer to him and added some "stern" to my tone of voice to which I believe he said, "She ain't talkin' to me". So, I turned on my warm-demander. I moved a little closer to him. "Son," I said in a lower voice, "you know you are supposed to walk on the right hand side of the hall and that's what I want you to do." Jay made a point of not looking at me, yet he certainly did not lower his eyes...he just looked anywhere else. My eyes stayed focused on him. He never acknowledged me, but he did move to the other side of the hall and headed on his way with much swagger. I believe he even looked back at me and scowled a little.

I did not have much interaction with Jay after that as I was a 7th grade teacher and my classroom was located in a different part of the school, but I did not forget him nor the aura of defiance that surrounded him....and something else I could not quite identify.

Little did I know that my my teammates, Mr. Carson and Mr. Lane who taught math and social studies respectively, were building rapport with Jay through their Friday-Good Behavior Basketball Games & Pizza Parties.

On the next blog...What a white, male teacher could do that I could not.