Abstract:

Ellen Berg reflects on the late Pope John Paul II's quote, "Be not afraid" as she prepares to leave her teaching job in St. Louis and move across the country to a new life.

Berg, E. (2005). Be not afraid. Teacher Leaders Network diaries. Retrieved from the Teacher Leaders Network 11 Apr 2008. Link:  http://www.teacherleaders.org/old_site/diaries04_05/EB16_04_05.html

Full Text:

Be Not Afraid

I am sitting here on a Saturday afternoon, working on my computer, TV news on in the background. I hear that Pope John Paul II has passed, and I cannot help but be moved.

I am not Catholic, nor am I overly religious, but I am affected by this event. Perhaps it is because my husband's extended family is very Catholic, or perhaps it is because I have recently devoured Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons and have learned more about the history of Catholicism. Maybe both. Whatever the reason, as I sit here watching secular retrospectives of his life, I am touched.

One comment that has been repeated many times is Pope John Paul's admonition to "Be not afraid." In his stance against communism and steadfast committment to his beliefs, he has demonstrated bravery and courage in the face of challenging situations.

His statement, "Be not afraid," resonates with me. I participate in several online professional communities, and we've often discussed the question, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" Today I've been reflecting more deeply on that question. What would we do — as teachers, principals, central office personnel, and policy makers — if we were not afraid? What would change for kids? How might my actions alter? How does fear impact teaching and learning?

This is a timely question for me as I prepare to give up what is safe (if not satisfying) and move halfway across the country to the unknown. I have changed my mind a million times as I have worried about finding a job, let alone one I want, when there is no guarantee I will succeed. However, I am pressing on because I truly believe my time here in St. Louis is over.

Taking such a huge personal risk has strangely given me unexpected freedom. Last week when I attended a job fair in San Diego, I realized I was not willing to settle into a situation that did not fit me, simply for a paycheck.

As I spoke with representatives from districts across the county, I discovered I was interviewing them as much as they were interviewing me. Better yet, I found districts with at-risk students that seem to be heading in the right direction; their personnel were passionate and held high expectations for their students, and I felt instantly at home with them.

Other districts that held deficit views of low socioeconomic kids or who seemed disinterested in meeting candidates (despite having a difficult time recruiting teachers) seemed to blare a warning: ATTENTION: Do NOT waste your time here. You will be dissatisfied.

Prior to my visit to San Diego, I kind of had the idea in my mind that I would take whatever position I could find — then move on if the situation did not satisfy me. In the wake of my visit, however, I have decided I will not settle for a less than a situation where I can be the teacher I know I can be.

This newfound confidence has seeped into my classroom as well. I have decided that I have the responsibility to do what is best for my students even in the face of policies that hinder instruction, or even contradict what I know about good teaching practice.

For a time, as I began my search for a new job in San Diego, I felt shackled, worrying about what my principal might do or say in response to a phone call to check my references. That "what if" had me playing it safe instead of trusting what I know about working with my kids.

One of our TLN members likes to paraphrase a comment from Carl Glickman when she says, "I will no longer pretend not to know what I know." That's my outlook now.

I am back, I am free from fear, and teacher and students are all the better for it.

• Tagged
• XML
• BibTex