Abstract:

"I think a lot of teachers are consumed by their work," writes Ellen Berg in her latest diary entry at the TLN website. "We cannot turn off who we are at our core, and so it is easy to be pulled in and develop tunnel vision. However, if we martyr ourselves to the cause, who, exactly, is benefitting? Our students? Certainly not. Tired, cranky, stressed-out teachers aren't good for anyone. Our families? Nope. My wonderful husband has borne the brunt of my stress this year.... Our profession? Definitely not. How can we contribute wisdom when we are not even wise enough to nourish ourselves?"

Berg, E. (2004). We cannot let our work consume us. Teacher Leaders Network diaries. Retrieved from the Teacher Leaders Network 7 Apr 2008. Link: http://www.teacherleaders.org/old_site/diaries04_05/EB13_04_05.html

Full Text:

We Cannot Let Our Work Consume Us

Few people do business well who do nothing else.

– Lord Chesterfield

I am going to be honest here: I have blown you all off. I have tuned out, shut down that part of my brain that usually trolls for diary topics, and ignored kind and humorous notes from my editor that a book he sent me "...will inspire a diary entry!" I have not ignored you or my editor out of any sense of meanness, so I hope you are not offended. Rather, I ducked out momentarily because I needed to restore balance to my life.

Not that I really understood that balance was the reason I have avoided nearly everything related to teaching for the past few weeks. No, I can honestly say that I had no conscious clue as to why I was blowing everything off. The only thing I really knew was that I could not invest myself in that part of my life for one more moment. It was too painful, too tiresome. I had to go away for a while.

How have I spent my time? I played with my nieces and nephew, watched movies, read books, drank margaritas with my family members on Christmas Eve, and slept in. I started to drink more water, bought a pedometer, increased my physical activity, and set an end date for junk food. I ate a big Mexican meal on New Year's Eve with my husband and spent the rest of the evening downtown at a city-sponsored celebration with fireworks, musical and theatrical acts, and street performers. I toasted 2005 with a glass of champagne in a little late-night cafe with wait staff, college students, and tuxedoed gentlemen.

And for the first time in a really long time, last night I felt good. Hopeful. Ready to write.

There's that old saying, "Don't put all of your eggs in one basket." Whoever first wrote or spoke that may, indeed, have been referring to eggs going to market. However, for me it has to do with my personal identity. My husband has asked me through the years if I thought my all-consuming passion with my job and profession was healthy. And all of those years I rolled my eyes and said, of course, I'm happy, aren't I? I loved my job, my kids, and my profession. I immersed myself and devoted the bulk of my time to everything teaching, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that strategy until everything in my district and school went to hell.

Those of you who have been reading my entries this year know about MAP Attack, increased paperwork, and direct instruction. What you do not know is the union took a strike vote, and it passed. So far no strike date has been set, but I do not see how the district and union are going to come to a suitable compromise.

Back to the basket. Once everything I loved and invested my time in shattered, what was left? I had so much of my Self involved in my work that when work disintegrated, I was devastated.

Thank God for our bodies and for whatever higher power you believe in. Sometimes we have to listen to what they are telling us and take two giant leaps back in order to see what we cannot see close up. I have seen the danger in letting one thing become the Only thing in our lives.

I think a lot of teachers are consumed by their work. We cannot turn off who we are at our core, and so it is easy to be sucked in and develop tunnel vision. However, if we martyr ourselves to the cause, who, exactly, is benefitting? Our students? Certainly not. Tired, cranky, stressed-out teachers aren't good for anyone. Our families? Nope. My wonderful husband has borne the brunt of my stress this year and has earned more medals and back rubs than I can ever hope to supply in my lifetime for his patience and ear. Our profession? Definitely not. How can we contribute wisdom when we are not even wise enough to nourish ourselves?

So I return to the idea of balance. I have always thought of balance as being a fixed mark where there is a constant input of professional and personal. However, that's just not realistic, no more realistic than the idea of never eating another chocolate chip cookie or having another argument. I think balance is more like a seesaw, something that ebbs and flows in a fluid pattern. In real life there are going to be times where one part of our lives has to take more of our time and energy than the others. The important thing is to remember that we have to consciously propel ourselves back to avoid getting stuck in one place too long.

My resolution for 2005 is to strike more balance in my life. I am going to take care of myself physically, professionally, personally, and interpersonally, and if, one weekend, that bag of papers to grade has to sit by the door, untouched, I am not going to feel guilty about it. Monday will be soon enough.

In my search for quotes on balance today I found one from Robert Fulghum I am going to type in large font and post somewhere in my home office and classroom. It's also my wish for you in 2005.

Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life — learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

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